So we are trying to have our node be available to a remote repeater.
When in simplex mode just connecting with HT we have no problem with ping ponging but when I switch over to the repeater frequency and transmit it just starts an endless cycle of transmit receive.
I know you can set rxondelay=25 for simplex is there any thing similar for repeater delays.
That is a problem with a node on a repeater. The repeater causes the node to Tx which in turn causes the repeater to Tx causing an endless cycle.
You can get this to work after a fashion if you turn off all the telemetry, set carrier delay (hang time) to zero and be sure to have the node in half duplex. Duplex=0 is made for that. See: